How Connected Are YOU?

How connected are you?

I've recently been part of a wonderful, live event. It was on the subject of empowering people in pregnancy and birth and beyond. I shared my thoughts and beliefs about connecting and bonding and how we can do that with ourselves. And I'd like to share what I had to say at the event with you here.

It's not all about the physical stuff we think we need

It's easy to get caught up with plans for the birth and all the material stuff that follows. Things we feel we need to have during pregnancy. Things we think we need to get for the labour and after the baby's born.

But we rarely consider our mental well-being, our mental health during this time. We don't always think about connecting to ourselves, to our partners and loved ones. Or how we can get through the emotional challenges of pregnancy, birth and postnatally.

How are you feeling today?

What I'd like to ask you to do is think about how you are feeling right now. Are you connecting with yourself?

Do you have a strong inner critic that's constantly berating you? Or do you take time to celebrate who you are? Are you able to bring a bit of self-love, self-compassion and self-care into your thoughts?  

Hopefully, you might be taking the time to connect with your baby. And that's a beautiful thing.

Learning the power of connecting with ourselves

We can connect with ourselves in various ways. But many of us need to feel like someone else is connecting with us before we can take time to connect with ourselves. That's a very human response. But in pregnancy, birth and postnatally, one of the biggest lessons we learn is the power of connecting deeply with ourselves. Once we can achieve it, it ripples out and enables us to bond and connect with others at a deeper level too.

And then we know where we are and what's important to us. When we understand how to make ourselves feel better, we're much more likely to do that for others.

It's so important that we take the time to learn more about how we can feel better in the moment. And what we need to have a better day or even how to make the next half an hour better.

The roller coaster effect

In pregnancy, nature gives us specific hormones to be able to feel good. It's up to us to ride that wave and take that journey. The hormones can be a bit of a roller coaster, of course; there's no getting away from it. So, how are we going to hang on as we face the challenges of everyday life? How will we speed up on the days when we need to or slow down on the days that we don't?

This is the level of connection I'm speaking about. It's the level of the relationship we have with ourselves that we don't always stop and think about.

That's why I'm planting that seed and asking… how are you connecting right now? Take a few moments to connect with the thoughts that you're having. You might find it useful to journal them to reflect on another time.

The power of talking

Often, when we're tired and perhaps feeling vulnerable, communication is one of the first things to go. We may find ourselves thinking that we can read the minds of the people we love the most. We may make assumptions and jump to conclusions. Does this sound familiar? You're not alone.

But if we can be honest with ourselves and connect with ourselves first and foremost, we've got a much better chance of connecting with those around us too. I know it's easier said than done sometimes. But it's worth thinking about, isn't it?

Your homework for today

I'd love for you to take a moment to connect with yourself. Wherever you are, stop for a moment. Put your hand over your heart right now and take some nice, slow, calm, deep breaths. Connect with your heart.

Connect with that feeling — the physical sensation of your hand over your heart. And the physical motion of your breathing. Take hold of some of the energy and love you give out to others and bring it home to you. Hold yourself in the moment. Connect at a deeper level.

And then go to your loved one and tell them how much they mean to you. Use some of that positive energy you've created within your own heart and go share the love.

Take good care, keep bonding, keep rounding. Stay connected.

Smiles,

Sophie xxx

(p.s: click on the video for a special connecting exercise)