The secret sauce to parenting

Parenting

20 Dec

So just a quick(ish!) one from me to you to remind you that even though this time of year can feel overwhelming, (it's very stressful for many of us) but it's also very joyous for many too.

We have to remember that our systems get more stressed this time of year when we're perhaps not outside getting in daylight as much as we were a month ago and maybe we're eating more sugary food that obviously gives us the spike of energy, but then the low and perhaps we're drinking more alcohol too. Maybe we are not able to exercise or move our bodies in the way that we could in the summer or the warmer months and that really does start to take its toll on us as well as the additional stresses of parenting and all that Christmas brings.

With tired children and maybe relaxing a little bit more as well on the sofa and hunkering down, but when we slow down like that as well, it can actually put some more stress on our mental state as well as our physical. So it's important to remember what your five a day are for you now and appreciate that being a parent we often think that we don't have time for ourselves. "How can we possibly have time to fit in anything for us when we've got all of these additional things to do on top of our normal Daily Grind"? and I completely get it but there is a really great way of shifting your mindset on that.

I want to share it with you now:

It's very much the idea that when you do something for them you do it for you too. And the intention is the secret sauce in this - so with intent to have that glass of water to really enjoy and flush out any toxins in your body for instance or just hydrate yourself, right?

We think, you know, we have to give them glasses of water. We have to give them decent food to make sure that they're having their five-day fruit and veg. Well, it's the same with us.

So equally if we're feeling like we need to get them out often, you know, they're going a bit stir crazy (or so are we!), so it's thinking about getting ourselves out as well. And when we're outside making the most of really absorbing ourselves with the environment that we're in no matter what that is.

If you live in a city or somewhere without much greenery then perhaps just notice all the textures and the colours and the different variety of things. Maybe look up at the sky taking the sky and the clouds and the different colours and the intonation of that too.

When you are thinking about you know what to do. Think about for you in that moment while it's perhaps chaos going on around you where you'd love to be in that moment or whose arms. You'd love to be in think about being on that beach how it would feel how it would smell how it would sound or think about being with your loved ones. Perhaps if you can't be with them this seasonal time for whatever reason it is.

So there is always ways that we can make time for ourselves to fit in our five a day for our emotional health and mental well-being and it's just about getting creative with it and habituating to doing that with intent.

And as I said intention is the secret sauce.

So by the end of the day when you lay your head on the pillow you are saying I did something for me. I did do something for me you reflect on the things that you did for you in the day and what went well and that helps to bring in some feel good factor and certainly gratitude as well.

So rather than coming from that place of lack. We are more coming from a place of "actually, you know, what I did do something for me too".

And that really really helps our mental state.

And it certainly helps to regulate our nervous system. So if you're thinking what can I do with the kids just think about taking five or ten deep breaths with them popping on an audio that helps you all to relax.

Anything like that is a good thing. Okay.

So take good care, even if it is just lying on the sofa with the kids if you're doing that breathe them in with intent. Mmm, if they'll let you! I love that... stimulating all the lovely hormones that help you to feel good and appreciate the little things, especially our little monkeys monsters and how soft and squidgy they really are!

Okay... I hope you can have a very very good Christmas.

Take a care. If you need me, you know where to find me.

If you are a perinatal professional you work with people antenatally, birth, or postnatally.

I'd love to hear from you. I'm sure you're a kindred and I'd love to talk more to you about emotional well-being and how we can work together to bring that not only into our lives more but equally into those with supporting and they in turn model that to their children. (as we can too!)

What a Wonderful World that would be: to naturally call upon that inner parent in oursleves that is always there to hold us, hear us, soothe us and keep us safe.

Now I wish to spread the word to you and all the parents you support or know; and I wish to hold you too.

What one thing do you wish you had known when you had your baby? Or what would you wish others who are becoming parents to know?

It's time to build an army of peer and professional practitioners to bring emotional wellbeing into perinatal communities at the grass roots level. We know this is needed more than ever right now, so let me guide you to do this, and to hold you along the way too.

Would you like more details? Hit reply to this email with the words "NURTURE ME TOO" and I'll be in touch.